Personal Development Conversations: Wealth And Soulmate Manifestation And Parenting Advice With Kute Blackson

 

How do you attract the person who is going to be the love of your life? How do you manifest the wealth you believe you deserve? Chances are you have had situations where you had to ask yourself one of these questions. These are some of the most pressing questions in the field of personal development and self-help. In this episode, one of the global icons in this space joins us to share his take on these intriguing questions that set the tone for much of our journey in this world. He also shares some advice to parents on the number one gold nugget their kids need to know. Tune in and get all of these and more from none other than Kute Blackson, who joins us on today’s conversation!

 

KUTE BLACKSON is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents’ Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs’ Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world’s foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life’s purpose.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kuteblacksonlovenow (https://www.facebook.com/kuteblacksonlovenow)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/ (https://www.instagram.com/kuteblackson/)

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kuteblackson (https://twitter.com/kuteblackson)

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/kuteblackson09 (https://www.youtube.com/user/kuteblackson09)

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kute-blackson-35755519/ (https://www.linkedin.com/in/kute-blackson-35755519/)

URL:

www.kuteblackson.com (http://www.kuteblackson.com/)

Life Changing trip to Bali:

www.boundlessblissbali.com (http://www.boundlessblissbali.com/)

—

Watch the episode here

 

Listen to the podcast here

 

Personal Development Conversations: Wealth And Soulmate Manifestation And Parenting Advice With Kute Blackson

Wisdom From A Beloved Personal Development Icon

Welcome to the show. This episode is truly special as we have the incredible Kute Blackson, a transformational speaker and bestselling author with over 300,000 followers across all of his social platforms. Kute’s journey began in Ghana, where he witnessed miracles performed by his father. His father was known as the Miracle Man of Africa. At just eight years old, Kute spoke in front of thousands of people igniting his passion for inspiring others. His name is Kute Blackson. I know that you started at eight years old and you spoke in front of 4,000 people.

“Trust life… It’s been around a lot longer than you.” @kuteblackson Click To Tweet

About 4,000 to 5,000.

How does that happen? I want to go back to your childhood and all of this.

Love Is Everything

I was born in Ghana, West Africa. My father’s from Ghana and my mother’s Japanese. I grew up in London. We had to leave Ghana because of a political coup. We ended up in London. My first memory as a young boy was literally seeing a crippled woman crawling on the floor. She picks up the sand, the gravel that this man walks and wipes it on her face and stands up. Week after week, I grew up seeing blind people see, deaf people hear, and people stand up out of wheelchairs, so miracles.

You saw this all the time as a child.

I saw this every week. I didn’t think anything of it. The man who was performing these miracles was my father. He was considered the miracle man of Africa. I call him a mystic African yogi, an African Sai Baba, or an African Siddha. A great man in many ways, and my father. I didn’t think anything special about these miracles. A person would come in in a wheelchair and they hadn’t walked in ten years.

Turn your obstacles into your biggest blessings. Click To Tweet

He would look at this person and say, “Why are you in this wheelchair? Stand up. You’re not sick.” The person would say, “I haven’t walked in like ten years.” He would say, “Do you believe? Yes. Why the hell are you in this wheelchair? Stand up.” They will stand up. Every day, every weekend, every Sunday, I would see this stuff because I would see it and it was just every day. I didn’t think anything special of it. That was a blessing.

My father had about 300 churches in Ghana, West Africa. Probably at his height, 400,000 or 500,000 people in his organization. In London, there were about 5,000 people every Sunday that would come to church like a Michael Beckwith type of church. He was very metaphysical in that way. When I was AJ, I was more interested in playing soccer than going to church. They literally stuck me in the front row. I would fall asleep and one Sunday, the guy nudged me and said, “Your father wants you on stage.” They threw me on stage and my father said, “Speak.” That’s how my speaking career began.

You were eight.

I had no idea what was going to come through me and no idea what I was going to say. Other than that I looked in front of the audience and words started coming out of my mouth and that’s when it began. That’s when a connection to something bigger than myself started opening. A channel was opened and words flowed. People were inspired. I don’t remember what I said or what happened other than words started coming out of my mouth. That was the beginning of my speaking career.

You don’t remember what you said.

Remember that your spirit is stronger than your situation. Click To Tweet

Something inspiring. Something about what I’d heard and took it through my subconscious. I started reading spiritual books around age eight as well. My first spiritual book was called Creative Visualization by a woman called Shakti Gawain. I started absorbing this information about how thoughts become things and thoughts are powerful. Probably something around the power of thinking and visualization. Our thoughts are what I was speaking at the time.

Your father’s in Ghana and your mom is Japanese. I know they fell in love and didn’t speak each other’s languages. They couldn’t communicate that they loved each other. What message? What did that do for you? How did you learn through that?

For me, in my life, I grew up with this sense that love is everything. Love needs no language. Love is beyond form, beyond color, beyond religion, and is the essence of what we all are. I grew up with a mom that was as Japanese as you can get. A dad who was as African as you can get. It’s a whole crazy story which if we have to I can share.

Love needs no language. Love is beyond form, and love is beyond color and religion. Love is the essence of what we all are. Click To Tweet

Both my parents were more focused and committed. They had an understanding that they had a soul agreement and that their souls had an agreement. They were more surrendered to their soul contract. The deeper reason for why they came together than the superficial romantic ego level like, “Why don’t you buy me flowers? How come one of them is going to the movies?” It was like, “This is why our souls have come together, and we have come together to fulfill this agreement together.” That’s where they were focused on.

Life may or may not give you what you want, but you can always give life who you are. Click To Tweet

You look at the soul, like, what color is the soul? What nationality is the soul? Does the soul have a passport? Does the soul have a religion? The soul is infinite. For me, I didn’t feel like I was from Africa, even though I was born in Ghana. I didn’t feel like I was Japanese or British. I felt like I was nothing and everything. That was a blessing. For the longest time, I didn’t even see my mother’s color. All I knew was the fact that she was loved and she loved me. That was a real blessing.

For me, the blessing too, was it gave me the ability to see through the apparent differences. Many times, we’re so focused on the differences of the ego. It was just creating a sense of separation and otherness. Whereas, true love is the recognition of the inherent oneness of our being. When I realize what I am as a soul, then I realize what you are as a soul. At that level, we are one. That’s what love is to me, the true recognition of the oneness of what we all are.

 

I have plenty of single friends, too and they’re a little bit older. They’ve been through plenty of relationships and they can’t seem to find that one. How do you know that you’ve met that one person that you have this soul contract with? Do you think that you can have a soul contract with more than one person? Not at the same time, but throughout.

Often, we’re looking for the one. We’re looking for the one outside of ourselves, but we haven’t met the one that we are. If we don’t know who we are, we have to realize that ultimately we are the one. You have to realize that in a relationship, you attract to you a person that is a mirror manifestation of yourself. Every person you attract to you is a mirror and a reflection of your own consciousness. You attract that person because on some level there are certain lessons that you have to learn. There are certain aspects of yourself that you get to face, heal, integrate, and forgive. There is no relationship out there.

 

We think there’s a relationship out there with another person, but you’re in a relationship with an aspect of yourself that’s projected and manifested in the form of that person. The first thing we have to look at is, “If a relationship is a mirror, do I like what I see? Do I like what I’m attracting?” Many times, we’re so focused on this person out there. Are there any good men? What about the women?

The quality of your life is determined by the degree that you love, no matter what. Click To Tweet

We’re pointing the finger. The truth is, you can’t change what’s out there. What we can change is what’s in here. When we’re understanding that there is no relationship out there is just a reflection. Rather than focusing on what’s out there, then we start focusing on what’s in here. We realize, “If I can truly fall in love with myself, heal myself, transform myself and embrace my own worth, value, lovability, and all that I am, then it shifts everything.”

What you will start attracting to you are situations and people in the form of romantic partners that will reflect who, what you feel, and believe about yourself. I tell people, “Stop looking for someone. Stop looking for the one. Find yourself.” When you truly find who you are and you find yourself, then from that self-love, peace, and inner fulfillment, you will magnetize a person who will reflect who you are and your most deeply held beliefs about yourself.

Stop looking for the one. Find yourself. Click To Tweet

Sometimes the person that you attract will not come to you in the form that you expect. Many times, because we’re conditioned based on our pain, our childhood, what our dad gave us and our mom didn’t give us, needs that weren’t met, and our traumas. We have this illusory idea of what we think we need in a partner and we project that into our intentions.

Sometimes from a place of being conditioned, we’re not able to truly see what we need. It’s just what we think we need based on who we think we are. One of the things is, if you want to attract your soulmate, heal yourself, and connect with yourself. Also, drop the idea of the person you think you should be with. If you can be open, available, and truly surrender.

Why do you think that’s so hard for people though?

You can't cheat life. Click To Tweet

It’s because we’re conditioned from childhood. When we’re children, every single thing that happens to us from what mom says, what dad says, dad’s an alcoholic, mom’s crazy, they were there, divorce, pain, and abandonment. Every single thing that happens to us from sight, smell, sense, colors, and every music. Everything is stored in our subconscious and in our nervous system.

The nervous system is the antenna to the world. Information comes into the nervous system. It gets filtered through the nervous system. Based on our interpretation, based on our nervous system, we are making up an interpretation of what we think the reality is, of who we think someone is, of what we think someone looks like, or how we perceive someone to be, based on the state of our conditioning and our nervous system.

Often, when it comes to relationships, we’re not even seeing someone clearly. We’re seeing through the lens of the conditioned nature of our nervous system. Let’s say dad was abusive and it was painful. All of a sudden, as children, subconsciously love and pain get associated and wired together. Now we have this energetic vibrational resonance of, “Love and pain go together.” Now, there’s a familiarity.

We move into the world, 25 or 30 years old. We meet someone and we’re attracted to them. We don’t know why we’re attracted. We just feel a resonance. We feel a familiarity. Now we’re in a relationship with them and they start treating us like crap or being mean to us. Even though it’s painful, it feels familiar. Now we think we’re in love but we’re not in love. It’s just familiarity. It’s an energetic vibrational pull of familiarity that’s pulling us together. We call it chemistry but it’s shitistry. We often say, “This person is my type.” Your type is often your conditioning. It’s your condition. You meet someone like, oh “I just feel like I know them. I feel so connected. I feel such a familiar,” because they’re your dad or it’s your mom. It’s that sense of familiarity.

When somebody says to you, “He’s not my type.”

It's not your job to repay other people’s karma. Click To Tweet

Your type is your conditioning. Many times, what happens is you meet someone and you’re like, “Boom.” You feel that thing. When you feel that ka-boom attraction thing, usually it’s that energetic unresolved frequency that pulls you together that you should be very aware of. That’s why we think it’s what we want. Often, we write our goal list of the type of person we want to be with based on our conditioning. Rather than our true healed selves.

Let’s say you know I’m attracting the wrong relationship after the wrong relationship. How do you teach?

First, you have to acknowledge that you’re attracting the wrong relationship after the wrong relationship because many people can’t see it. All lessons are repeated until learned. Many times people are making it about the other person, “There’s no good men out there. There’s no good women out there. It’s about this person. The worlds are F-ed up. This is wrong. That’s wrong. Look at that. It’s all the guys in LA. It’s all the girls in Miami.”

The truth is there’s one common denominator and it’s you. Ultimately, we have to be willing to take complete and total responsibility. Often, we don’t take responsibility for what’s showing up and we keep blaming. You can’t shift something if you’re blaming and pointing the finger. That’s why we have to be willing to take responsibility and say, “It’s not what’s out there, it’s me. What are the people that I’m attracting to me over and over again?” Different name, different face, different religions, or one has a mustache, doesn’t have hair, has long hair, has blonde hair, or has short hair. We keep attracting the same dynamic and the same pattern.

What do the person and the people that I’m attracting to me, what do they reflect to me about myself? When we can start looking and doing that self-introspection and acknowledging that’s when we stand the possibility of shifting and then the possibility of dealing with the unresolved pain, hurt, and resentment. The unresolved emotions and feelings that we’re carrying, then we can deal with that and face it, clear it, and heal it.

You have to be willing to step on it and do it.

What others do to you, they do to themselves. Click To Tweet

You have to be willing to take responsibility and take ownership then face what’s unresolved. What’s unresolved will tend to get recreated and manifest in the form of the people you attract to you over and over again. You can leave, break up, divorce, and run away from a person, but you can’t run away from yourself.

If you keep attracting the same people over and over again, this is just a reality. You can’t fight reality. Reality is showing up in the form of the people that you’re attracting. You can say, “I love myself so much.” If you keep attracting people who take advantage of you, people that abuse you, and people that don’t commit to you. What is that showing you? The mirror doesn’t lie. You can wake up looking terrible in the morning, go to the mirror, and say, “I look terrible.” You throw an egg at the mirror, but the truth is, the mirror doesn’t lie. The mirror is the mirror.

You get on the scale. The scale doesn’t lie. We have to be willing to face the reality of the feedback. To me, the relationship is feedback. It’s like a spiritual path. To me, everything is part of the spiritual path. Relationship is a spiritual path. The people that you’re attracting are simply giving you feedback. It’s not bad. It’s not a curse from the divine. It’s just feedback showing you the parts of yourself that you most need to heal, let go of, embrace, integrate, and make peace with.

 

If you can take that feedback and do the inner work based on that, then you can truly evolve, grow, and come into a deeper alignment within yourself so that you can attract someone different. If you keep attracting someone who doesn’t commit to you, “I keep attracting these guys. None of them truly committed to me. They don’t value me. They don’t see me.” I would say, “How are you not seeing yourself? How are you not valuing yourself? How are you not committing to yourself?” You might say, “I’m a committed person,” but maybe you’re not committing to yourself. It has to start with us.

Living with integrity is freedom and peace. Click To Tweet

The Path To Self-Discovery

There’s so much here. I can ask you 3,000 questions now but how did you learn this? Was there a point in life that you were struggling with or you were having this reflected back to you? How did you go through the self-discovery problem?

There’s a couple of things in there. How did I learn this? I started at a very young age. At age eight, I started reading. From 8 to 18, I read eight hundred self-help books trying to understand life. Everyone from the Eastern mystics of like Ramana Maharshi, Yogananda, Nisargadatta Maharaj, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, and Muktananda. This was my life.

I started meditating at a very young age and reading everyone from Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins and Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson, Louise Hay, Jim Ring, Zig Ziglar, and Victor Hanson, as a teenager. This was my life and trying to understand life, why we’re here, and what’s the purpose of life. That was about ten years of my life. You could say how did I learn all of this? Information is one thing, but what cracked me open and again, there are different parts to the story. I came to the US.

You came to London first.

I went to London and at eighteen, I came to the US. I wanted to come to the US because this is where all of the self-help gurus and self-help authors were. Basically, I came to Hollywood. Not for Hollywood, but because this is where all of them live. They live in San Diego and LA.

You knew this was what you wanted to do.

I always wanted to go into this field and there’s more to the story. The real shift happened when I was twenty years old and I fell mad in love, a beautiful woman. When I was nineteen, I fell in love with this woman. She was a lot older than me and she said to me, “I think you have some anger toward your father.”

My response at the ripe old age of nineteen was, “Thank you very much but this relationship is over. Goodbye. Thank you. We’re done. On to the next. I’m fine. Everything is fine.” I’m Mr. Positivity. I fell in love a year later at age twenty with an amazing woman I thought was my soulmate. She’s the one. I couldn’t imagine not being with her. When you met the one, I was like willing to do whatever it took to truly heal.

She says to me, “I think you have some anger issues toward your father.” It was love because love brings up everything unlike itself in order to be faced and healed. That’s what forced me to delve inside, to do the healing, face my fears, and acknowledge that I even had anger toward my father and my mother. To face the pain, the hurt, and the fears of abandonment that I’ve been carrying that I didn’t know. That put me into therapy and seminars. I went to seminars and courses. It just started a 4 to 5-year process of deep inner healing.

 

This is one of those things where you sought out anything that was coming your way to learn.

Everything. Every weekend. It became a full-time job. Here’s what happened. In my relationship with this woman, I thought it was the one and we ended up being together for four years and she was quite jealous. When I say quite jealous, she was like extremely jealous. I wrote about this in my book. I would walk down the street and look around in a random direction. She would accuse me of basically cheating on her.

It was madness. I’d look at a waitress and she would say, “You’re flirting with the waitress.” It became such a thing that I closed myself off. We ended up breaking up then I attracted another woman after her who was not as jealous but a bit jealous. Now I had to ask myself, “How come I’m attracting women who are extremely jealous and very jealous?”

At first, it was these women who were crazy. These women are just women. It’s a women’s thing. I was on about the women, “Women are this way.” I thought to myself, “The first woman is jealous and the second woman is jealous. I’m the common denominator.” I had to ask myself a question and do a lot of introspection. I had to ask myself, “What is it inside of me that wants to be with a woman that is jealous? If I say I don’t want to be with a woman that’s jealous, but I’m attracting a woman that is jealous. What inside of me wants to be with that?”

What I had to look at and the truth was, there was a part of me that was insecure. There was a part of me that was in fact so afraid of being abandoned, that I had not acknowledged, healed, and dealt with that subconsciously, I was attracted, attracting, and attached onto women that were so jealous because this way they were never going to leave me. They would never leave me because they were so jealous and attached. Does that make sense? They’re not even letting me breathe.

Subconsciously, I had to acknowledge that there’s a part of me, an unhealed part of me, that wants that as much as I say, “I don’t want that.” That acknowledgment is what forced me to get on the path of looking at myself, healing myself, dealing with my pain, and my wounds, getting into therapy, and doing the inner work so that I could heal. I started reading all these books on relationships and that’s what took me down a path. There’s more to that than that. I went to India.

Manifesting Financial Abundance

It was very interesting. You went on a whole long self-journey. Your whole life has been a whole self-journey, I’m sure. I have a couple of friends I wanted me to ask you about on that topic, but in that philosophy but turning it toward financial abundance. Manifesting financial abundance, let’s say there are people out there that are tracking the wrong situation, the wrong business partners, or they have had a lot or they lost a lot. They are doing everything they can to create that again. How do you speak with clients when it comes to financial abundance? They’re working hard. They feel like they’re doing everything that they can and it’s just not happening.

I would have to understand, to be fair, the specific situation because everyone is different and every situation is different. In many ways, we’d have to look at what are the deeper subconscious beliefs that someone is carrying about money that has been programmed from childhood or about themselves. Many times it’s not about money that’s blocking money. It’s how one feels about myself because if I don’t feel truly worthy, or valuable, or don’t feel my own worth, then I might unconsciously sabotage or block myself from receiving money.

Sometimes the issue about money is not even the issue about money. It’s the issue of self. Sometimes it’s the programming we’ve gotten from religion, “Money is the root of all evil.” Sometimes the program we’ve gotten from our parents. I had a client that wasn’t even truly open. As hard as they were working, she was not even truly open to creating financial abundance as much as she was working hard to create financial abundance.

Sometimes the issue about money is not even the issue about money. It's the issue about you. Click To Tweet

Subconsciously, there was a fear of, “If I create abundance and I don’t come from abundance. Growing up, I struggled all the time. I’m going to have to let go of my tribe and my family. If I create millions of dollars, I will no longer be connected to my family growing up because I’m going to leave them behind.” There was a subconscious fear of leaving behind the people that she grew up with in creating financial abundance. That’s why I say it’s different for each person.

I had a client who as much as she was trying to create financial abundance, she grew up with a very rich father. Let’s say, she was 50 years old. Her father was still financing her life. Subconsciously, there was an internal block on her creating financial abundance because she was resistant. You could say afraid, “If I created financial abundance, then my father will no longer give me money. Him giving me money is how I feel connected to my father and that’s how I feel love from my father.” We have to look at these internal conflicts around financial abundance as well because many times it’s not the technicalities or the what in psychology. Here’s the question. If I say I want financial abundance and I don’t have it. Why do I not want money?

It’s because I don’t have it.

If I say I want it, but I don’t have it, then some part of you doesn’t want it. You’re not acknowledging the part that doesn’t want it. There’s an internal conflict. I don’t want financial abundance because I’m afraid of the responsibility. I don’t want financial abundance because I’m afraid that I’m going to lose my father’s love. It’s internal conflicts as to why we don’t manifest what we say we want to manifest.

It’s trying to figure out what those internal conflicts are.

We have to be willing to acknowledge what those deeper internal conflicts are as to what’s blocking what we say we want around financial abundance. To me, financial abundance also is not simply about what you have. Financial abundance, to me, is about how you feel about yourself and how you feel about what you have. Abundance in a state of being.

Financial abundance is not simply about what you have. Financial abundance is about how you feel about yourself and how you feel about what you have. Click To Tweet

I have clients who are billionaires who feel poor. They live in scarcity and they feel poor. They are not abundant. They have money but they don’t have abundance because abundance is a state of being. It’s about how you feel about yourself, life, and what you have. Let’s say you don’t have financial abundance at the level you want. I would say first, focus on gratitude and what you do have.

Celebrate what you do have rather than what you don’t. Celebrate it. Get into the feeling of the abundance that you have. For someone who says, “I have nothing.” Focus on what you do have like, “I have my health. I have my hair. I have my nails. I can pee. I can take a poop. I have a car. I can breathe. I can smell.” Start there. Start with the abundance that you have because we all have a level of abundance.

I would say to someone, look at those internal blocks so that you can bring the subconscious to the conscious and start releasing that. Many times we’re so focused on making money in terms of financial abundance. To me, money is a function of adding value. I would tell people, “Stop focusing on making money and focus on being of service.” I could truly add value because when you truly are of service, you’re adding value.

Stop focusing on making money and really focus on being of service. Click To Tweet

When you’re adding value, you’re solving someone’s pain, someone’s problem, or someone’s challenge. If you are solving, truly being of service by solving someone’s pain, problem, or challenge. Money is the energetic transference of energy. The exchange of energy that comes from solving someone’s pain problem or challenge.

Getting Out Of Rock Bottom

Life Masters is on this topic. Life Masters is all about people who hit rock bottom and have gotten out of it at some point. I’m sure that you have met clients who are at rock bottom. What are some of the first few things someone can do? They’re at rock bottom and lost everything. What are some of the steps that they can take to start to get out of their rock bottom?

If you’re rock bottom, surrender.

Which is what your book is about.

I would say truly surrender and let go because many times when you hit your rock bottom and it seems like life is falling apart. It’s falling together, but you’re not able to see it in the moment.

It’s like a redirection.

You’re not able to see in the moment. Sometimes what can seem like the worst thing to the ego because from the lens of our own ego, we’re only able to see a very small perspective. A very small perception. If a relationship falls apart and business falls apart, it can seem like the worst thing but we’re not able to see the beauty. We’re not able to see what life is seeking to unfold. We often try to hold life and things together when we’re in that bottom stage. I would say, let go. When you let go, that’s when you create space for life to flow. The next level of your life requires the next level of you. The next level of you requires that you let go of what’s no longer working.

What used to be working, but that isn’t working anymore.

That’s why I say let go. Many times we’re holding on to things that are no longer working because it’s familiar and comfortable. We feel safe and it’s known. In that moment, if you can just let go and not try to hold on to what was. That’s when you’re going to make room for more. That’s when you’re going to be open to more possibilities.

Sometimes it takes time. You have to sit in that for a little while. I would love for you to talk to me about the difference between surrendering and giving up.

Let’s talk about what surrender is. When we say the word surrender, there are a lot of folks that might be reading that might have a negative connotation on the word surrender.

It feels like, “I’m giving up then what do I do? I surrender then what?”

This misperception that surrender is weak or giving up or waving the white flag or if I surrender I’m going to be taken advantage over or I’m going to be a doorman. I won’t be able to get out of this situation. I’m not going to be able to manifest my goals dreams and desires. For me, surrender is a letting go. It’s letting go of control and trying to force and manipulate life to fit your limited idea of how you think it should be.

 

You all know when we’re doing that.

We’re holding on. The life that you think you should be living and the person that you think you should be so that you can be just available and open to the life that is seeking to unfold. Many times, if we look at our life, if everyone looks at their life, you will often see that the best things in your life happened, you didn’t plan. The best things in your life that happened, you didn’t sit down and plan. It just happened in the process of living life itself.

If everyone were to look back and maybe some of what they thought were the worst things to have ever happened. We were talking about relationships. We’ve all had those relationships that we thought were the one and that we couldn’t imagine living without. If you look back at the relationship maybe 5 years ago or 10 years ago that you thought was the one. You were like, “This is the person. I can’t imagine living without this person.” Maybe it didn’t work out and you were devastated in a moment. You hit rock bottom and you were mad at the universe. Mad at God. Now, maybe 5 or 10 years later, you look back and you think to yourself, “Thank God that didn’t happen.”

That happens all the time.

Thank God that didn’t work out. When it hits the fan, we’re often not able to understand. We’re often not able to see why it’s happening. There are usually a few reasons why goals don’t manifest. Number one, the goal that you think is the goal is not the goal that is in alignment with your soul’s highest intention. It’s just what you think you want based on your own conditioning. The goal isn’t the highest possibility that is seeking to manifest in your life.

What we tend to do when things don’t manifest and we hit rock bottom is we tend to want to force things. We try to force things to be something that they’re not. In that moment, I tell people, “Step back, let go, meditate, pray, journal, and reevaluate life to connect with what’s real, authentic, and true.” Versus what I should be doing because many times we’re operating on autopilot.

The second reason why sometimes dreams don’t manifest is it’s not time yet. It’s just not timing. It’s just not the season. There’s spring, summer, autumn, and winter. Everything has a natural timing and a cycle and a rhythm. You can go to a mango tree and just play a mango, even though it’s green. Even though you want this mango now. It’s not ripe yet.

Sometimes dreams don't manifest because it's just not time yet. Click To Tweet

Is it an energy thing or an energetic thing within yourself?

Sometimes it’s just not the time yet. It’s the cycle of life. A time of your life. Sometimes it’s time to be still but because we’re impatient, we want what we want. We want it and we force life to happen. We’re so exhausted running up against the wind through a storm that when it’s time to act, now we’re too tired to act because we were so busy fighting and forcing. We have to learn the rhythms of nature and the cycles of the season it’s daytime and nighttime. In the nighttime, you sleep and in the daytime, you work. Timing.

Give it time.

Truly understanding the rhythms and time of time. The third thing is sometimes things don’t happen or things fall apart because you have not learned the lesson that you need to learn in this particular moment of your life. To me, in life, we are souls. We incarnate into this human experience. Life is like a university for our souls of evolution. Everyone is our teacher. Everything is our curriculum.

If that’s the case, if you don’t learn the lessons where you are in this particular moment, then you repeat the lessons over and over again. That blocks that next level. Sometimes things have to fall apart because you haven’t learned the lessons. The process and the pressure of the universe are forcing you to learn certain lessons that you need to learn.

Very interesting. I also wanted to make sure that I asked you about the experience where you took someone to India for fourteen days.

I don’t do that anymore.

You were known for that at one point, but you did it at one point. I also know that you have these processes that you do with people to help them live their fullest life or help them live through love. How do you help your clients live their fullest life or through love? I know that you have some workshop involved.

If there’s one place that people can start. I talk about this a lot, but if there’s something practical that people can do where they can begin. I will say one of the things that keeps us stuck and blocked all the ways that we lie to ourselves. As human beings, we lie to ourselves. We’re conditioned from childhood to lie to ourselves.

There is no true transformation without truth. There is no healing without truth. There is no breakthrough to love without truth. If someone’s wondering, “Where do I begin?” I will tell everyone, “Start with the truth by looking at what lies am I telling myself?” Start there. It sounds simple. It’s not always easy but what lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? What are the lies that I’m telling myself? What is it costing me?

There is no true transformation without truth. There is no healing without truth. Click To Tweet

If we can just start with the truth, you have to want to be free more than you want what you have if you can just start with the truth. To me, the truth is what sets us free. If we can start there, that’s where the breakthrough can happen. When people can take the pressure off of themselves of having to take any action, that can free you up a bit. Sometimes the fear of the consequence of the truth is what stops us from truly acknowledging the truth because I’m afraid if I acknowledge the truth, then what?

If we can start with, “I hate my job.” You don’t have to leave. You don’t have to quit. I hate my job. Feel that. Feel what that brings up. That begins a process inside. “I’m no longer in love with my wife or my husband.” Feel what that brings up. “I have an alcohol problem.” No judgment. Feel that. If we can start with the truth. It’s the truth that begins the process of transformation.

Advice To Parents

I love this. I could sit here and ask you eight million questions, which you’ve been asked throughout your entire life. The last thing I wanted to talk to you about is parenting. I know you work with a lot of parents.

I have a son.

What are some of the biggest struggles that parents have? I know now with social media and this and that. I’m an older parent. There’s this big discrepancy between how she is growing up and what her influences are compared to what I’m I was influenced by. It’s very difficult for parents now.

It’s a different world.

What are some of the issues that you work through with your clients? What do you think that parents are struggling with most?

First, I want to say parenting is one of the most profound spiritual paths. It is a spiritual practice and a path on its own. It’s a yoga on its own. It’s a meditation on its own. To any parent, I don’t think there’s some formula or right way.

There is no instruction.

I don’t think there is a right way to parent because each soul is unique. Everyone’s karma is unique. Everyone’s karma with the child is unique. There’s no formula. There’s a responsibility and a love to this child, we can be very hard on ourselves. I want to acknowledge anything parent and acknowledge your soul as a parent that if you’re a parent, you signed up for a very challenging seminar.

If you are a parent, you've signed up for a very challenging seminar. Give yourself grace or how difficult it is in reality, because you are now responsible for another soul. Click To Tweet

I want you to give yourself grace as a parent for how difficult it is in reality because you are now responsible for another soul. As a parent, if you can just realize on a bigger level that your child is a soul. They don’t belong to you. Even though they belong to you, they belong to the universe. They belong to life.

As a soul, this soul, they have their own life lessons to learn. Whether without you, they’re going to learn some of these life lessons. It’s not your job to like control them and impose your conditioning onto them but it is your job to provide a safe space to guide them. It’s not your job to control them or impose your conditioning on them.

It’s your job to provide the space, the soil, and the environment of love so that this soul and the seed of the soul can blossom and emerge so they can fulfill and become what they are truly destined to become. Not just what you think they should become. That’s the art. It’s to provide that space for them, but also the guidance and the love so that they can grow and fulfill their own potential. There are two things. One of the greatest gifts, let me stop back then we can go into little techniques.

The first fundamental thing a parent can do for their child is to do your own inner healing on yourself. Your unresolved stuff, your pain, hurt, trauma, fear, or guilt, your own childhood stuff is going to condition and project how you treat your child. Your fears are going to be how you relate to your child, things that happened to you or didn’t happen to you. You don’t want to happen to them. That’s going to condition how you parent them. That’s number one. That’s going to condition your child even more.

 

Your unresolved emotional stuff, too. Your kids are connected to you, they will tend to absorb it via osmosis. Your kids will tend to act it out. I believe that the unresolved emotions, feelings, patterns, energy, karma, and secrets that have also been passed down from our parents, grandparents, and grandparents’ addictions aren’t resolved. That energy flows to our children.

They say it’s in our DNA, too.

The stuff that we don’t resolve is the energy that is passed to our children. Our children will often then act out our unresolved energies, patterns, emotions, secrets, pains, and wounds. They will act it out. They will play it out. You could say the real generational wealth is consciousness. To give our children as clear a slate as possible to grow in is one of the greatest gifts that we can give our kids.

When I look at my son, who’s months old. He is full of light, brightness, and magic. I see him and I look at the many years of deep healing work I have done. I see him as the fulfillment of the work I have done. The fruit. I can see all of the healing I have done in his vibration and the cleanness of his soul. That is the greatest gift we can give our kids. The other thing is that as we heal, then we can see who we are truly.

We start seeing that we’re not just this mind, body, mechanism, ego, or our conditioning. We start seeing that we are also divine beings. That we are souls. The greatest gift you can give your child is to see who they are in a world that will not see who they are. In a world that will see their smallness, ego, limitations, and behaviors. It’s so easy for a child to start forgetting their own true nature. As parents, if we can hold that reflection of, “Son, daughter, I see who you are. We have to talk about your behavior. We have to talk about this social media use. We have to talk about X, Y, and Z, but I see who you are.”

As a parent, when you can reflect on your child, their divinity, ego, and the infinite nature as a soul, then when they see you looking at them, no matter what technique you’re using or what you’re doing to correct them. They see you seeing them versus you seeing their addicting nature. They see you seeing how bad they are. That’s different. When they see you seeing their perfection, then that acts as a mirror reflection to bring out and awaken the true essence of what they are.

That is the real space and gift we as parents give our children. That’s through our own conversations with them. That’s through our own in how we treat them.

That’s through seeing them like, “I see you. We need to talk about it’s not okay to throw that out of the house. It’s not okay to beat up Johnny, the neighbor.” I see you versus looking at them through, “You’re such a screwed-up kid. You’re such a bad problem child. You’re such a bad kid.” I was just seeing their ego versus their soul. Regardless of what you’re saying, the seeing of them.

Tell them how you can. Find those moments.

You can say, “You’re a great kid,” but look at them like, “This kid’s screwed up. I love you but the way I see you is I feel sorry for how messed up you are. I can’t believe I’m stuck with this kid and this is my child.” They feel it. Your children will feel how you are seeing them. That seeing of them which is an invisible energy. It’s an invisible sight. That’s what transmits to their soul. That’s what activates their soul.

The third thing I’ll tell parents is, you can tell them whatever you want but as you know, your kids are going to learn through osmosis and through your example. You can say, “Love yourself. You’re valuable and worthy.” If you’re not loving yourself, honoring yourself, or truly living in integrity. Your kids are going to pick up that. I look at my son and all of a sudden, I swore in the house. I’m like, “Screw that.” Not exactly, but he started mumbling similar sounds. I’m like, “Oh my god.” We have to truly set the example by how we live and who we’re being. To me, that’s the key in terms of parenting.

There’s so much. I want to thank you so much for coming into the studio at Studio Place LA and on my show. This was beautiful. How can we learn more about you? Where can we connect with you if people want to work with you?

First, get the book The Magic of Surrender. It’s available on Amazon, paperback version as number one. The second thing is the most powerful thing that I do is my transformational work and the most powerful experience that I’ve created. I no longer do the one-on-ones in India. The most powerful process I’ve created is a twelve-day process in Bali. It’s called Boundless Bliss, the Bali breakthrough experience.

I’ve done this for many years. I’ve done 22 events in Bali and we have people from all walks of life. I’d say if you’re someone reading, you feel that you’ve been put on the planet for a purpose bigger than yourself and you’re ready to heal, transform, and free yourself twice a year. The next event is July the 20th through the 31st.

How many people?

We take eighteen people max. I use Bali as the backdrop to facilitate profound transformation.

I’ve been to Bali, so I understand why.

People can find out more at www.BoundlessBlissBali.com.

Tell me a little bit more about that though. What can you expect if you sign up?

It is a revolutionary process where I create and design a systematic step-by-step process that is designed to help each person become aware of their conditioning and processes designed to help you free yourself from the patterns and layers of your conditioning in a very unusual way and unique way. There are many events that will take you to Bali now. You’ll go to nice rice fields and eat nice Balinese food.

Not an event like this.

Nothing like this. It’s very unique. I unplug you from the world. If you go to the Bali website, you’ll find no information about the event, no itinerary, and no schedule. Basically, it is an opportunity to go into the unknown because so much of our lives, we do what we always do, then we stay how we’ve always stayed. I unplug people from the everyday TikTok reality so that they can connect with themselves. There’s no words to express, but it’s very profound.

We just sign up, you show up, and that’s it.

You can’t just sign up. First, you have to apply. I try to screen people away. We turn most people away because I want to make sure that only those who feel a calling get to go and only those who are truly serious about transforming go. Probably out of every 10 people that apply, we turn nine away. We accept one. It’s an application process. You have an interview with my right-hand person. He screens people to make sure they have the calling and you have a commitment because it’s a twelve-day process, unlike anything.

I love it. That’s beautiful. Amazing. Thank you so much for all the difference you’ve been making in people’s lives and everything that you’ve been doing in this world to make it a better place. So much love to you.

I appreciate it.

Thank you.

Thanks.

 

Important Links

• Kute Blackson
• Creative Visualization
• Tony Robbins
• Deepak Chopra
• Marianne Williamson
• Jim Ring – LinkedIn
• Victor Hanson – Twitter
• Studio Place LA
• The Magic of Surrender
• www.BoundlessBlissBali.com
• Facebook – Kute Blackson
• Instagram – Kute Blackson
• Twitter – Kute Blackson
• YouTube – Kute Blackson
• LinkedIn – Kute Blackson

 

About Kute Blackson

Kute Blackson is a transformational teacher, speaker, visionary, guide and national best-selling author of You.Are.The.One. and The Magic of Surrender.

 

Love the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share!

• Here’s How »

Join the Life Masters Community today:

• http://tanyamemme.com/new/podcast/
• LinkedIn
• Twitter
• Instagram
• Facebook
• YouTube
• Pinterest