The unconscious mind is always talking to us, but it does so in symbols. But when you get to master the art of listening to it, talking to it, and getting it to change, you’re in for a massive transformation. This is what Courtney Tallman does for her clients, who are mostly creatives and professionals. An empowerment coach with incredible intuitive gifts, Courtney talks to each client to see the different patterns and symbols of how their soul speaks so she can help them find their blocks and take action to move past them. She helps people accept parts of themselves that they were pushing away, see themselves differently, and embark on a powerful journey of transformation. Tune in and learn how she uses her gifts to be a gift to others!
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Coaching The Unconscious Mind With Courtney Tallman, Empowerment Coach
Some of you know that I have a book coming out and it’s all about what I’ve learned after interviewing 100 people that hit rock bottom. These are real live raw stories. There are some celebrities I’ve interviewed, but for the most part, I just wanted everyday people from around the world. I wanted to hear their life story because I know for myself and for many out there, especially some of the feedback I’ve been getting, that other people’s life stories do make a difference. They do heal. We’ve learned from each other.
I’m going to continue to share stories that help other people get out of their rock bottom, see life from different perspectives, and try different things. I’m hoping to open up your mind and think differently and get rid of some of our false beliefs, our judgments, and the way that we’ve been living our lives, and maybe change it up a little bit. Try something new.
When you hear other people that have changed their lives, people that maybe were so rigid or so stuck on something and they only wanted it this way, and meanwhile their life wasn’t changing or growing, or they were having a hard time manifesting or just being. I have found that when you are more open, you expand your mind, open it up to more creativity or just life, and look at things in different ways and concepts, it’s pretty incredible the transformation that you can dive into and you can experience if you’re up for it, but you got to take the ride.
I have on the show Courtney Tallman, and she’s been changing lives for a long time. She has so many incredible intuitive gifts and lots of knowledge. She’s an intuitive guide, a transformational and somatic practitioner. She’s a healer and she’s a coach. She’s become a very good friend of mine. Through everything I’ve learned about Courtney, I had to have her on the show. I hope you enjoy it.
What I love about what you do though is that you’re not just a life coach. You are intuitive. I don’t want to say a psychic, but how would you describe your abilities?
To put a label on myself has always been hard. I don’t like to be put in a box at all and I understand for these purposes, I have to. I can hear people speak about what’s going on in their life. I can see different patterns and symbols, and how the soul speaks. I can pretty much help people find their blocks really fast. There are so many ways to work through them that I don’t even know where to start. I would say that I’m a coach, but so much more transformational and intuitive. I work on the energetics. Some people called me an alchemist, a blockbuster.
I’ve seen your reviews, and that is true that people do call you that.
I truly also feel so blessed to be in that space with someone else because I feel like when they transform, I transform. When they expand and grow and accept parts of themselves that they were pushing away or avoiding, I start to embrace and see myself differently. They are my allies. We are together. There are no hierarchies in my work.
You had your own rock-bottom experience when you were younger.
It was not that long ago.
This is new to me.
It was a few years ago. How I would interpret rock bottom is it could be so many different parts of us. We could be like, “I’m done with that pattern.” We all know that time in our life when we’re like, “I’m done with the people pleasing. I’m done with the overwhelming energy,” and whatever it might be, this person relating to this energy.
The stories that we believe or the false beliefs. You know you’re better than that.
It’s limiting where you’re holding yourself back, where you’re feeling small. I’m done. I was a hairdresser. I am a hairdresser, and I was working fifteen-hour days. I didn’t stop to eat. I ate standing up. I didn’t use the restroom. I would just go. I had three clients at once, an assistant, and I drove 45 minutes to work and back. I’m exhausting myself with the story. For the longest time, I wanted to work from home. When COVID happened, it allowed me to work from home. That was when for three months I didn’t work and I got to detox all my toxic masculine work habits.
That hit you during COVID.
I got to just like sit there, chill, cook, clean, and do things that I never did before. I would jump at Starbucks and put my makeup on in the car on the way to work. My life is different now. I have two clients a day, a couple of days a week, and then I coach a couple of days a week. It has completely relaxed my nervous system.
It’s very interesting because one of the reasons that I wanted to have you on the show is because this show is about hitting rock bottom and getting out of it. With you, you work with clients that are at their rock bottom. I know that because of the friendship that we have. Let’s talk about that. When you have clients that come to you, rock bottom can be different for everybody.
It can. I take on healthy, stable individuals, and I do have a very therapeutic approach. It’s not just like I’m coaching basketball or I’m coaching this. This is all very therapeutic. I have worked and trained with different types of modalities, like Parts Work which is with Dr. Richard Schwartz, Compassionate Inquiry with Dr. Gabor Maté, and these different modalities. I’ve made them my own. Within that, people will come to me and be like, “I’m done with what I was doing at work. I cannot do that anymore. It was exhausting.”
I had a client that came who had no voice. She didn’t have a voice. She had cancer twice. She was exhausted and she had COVID for a whole year. That was part of her rock bottom. She’s like, “I’m done with this.” We found different younger parts of her that didn’t have a voice. Ironically, she didn’t have a voice now. We got to work with that younger part. Some people call it inner child work or emotional work, and we used thematic work, different work to move through. I can say that she’s thriving right now and doing well.
I know you have a lot of clients with stories that are thriving. It’s incredible to see because you do come at it from a different angle as well. What would you say when it comes to society right now? When your clients come to you, what are some of the things that people need advice on? What are a couple of things that are out there right now that people are struggling with?
I find that the thing that we’re avoiding to feel or look at is the very thing that’s going to set you free. The thing that you are scared to look at is not that scary, even though it seems like it is. It’s this part of us in the past that is now being present. I feel like different for everyone, but if I could give it overall, I’d be overwhelmed. People are overwhelmed and people are exhausted and I’ve been there.The thing that we're avoiding to look at is the very thing that's going to set us free. Click To Tweet
You know what it’s like. I was in this situation in my life and I know others have been as well. What about somebody who wants to come to you, you don’t want to talk about it, but you know that it’s there? I don’t want to label trauma, but you do need to work through the trauma, but you’re too afraid of it, of reliving it. You don’t relive it when you’re working on it.
That’s the thing that’s misconstrued. People think that when you go do the deeper work, you have to relive a trauma. It’s not true. You don’t even have to use your mind for it. It’s like so esoteric, even talking about it, but you can go into a deep theta state of relaxation. I like to start all of my sessions off with a prayer, whatever that means to them, and whatever they’re comfortable with, where it’s just like a deep meditation or something. We call in ancestors, guides, gurus, or whatever feels right to you to help us in that moment because we’re never alone.
My belief system is that we’re never alone. We have this energy of gravity that’s so strong that we can’t see. We might as well call in all the energies in that space to help guide us in that space. I’m never saying this is just me doing some of this work. We do that. It expands and it makes the work that much more potent.
This is a cool story about you too. You loved traveling alone. You travel alone a lot. I love the story that you told me about trust. I’d love to hear it.
One of the gifts my parents gave me is I’ve always felt safe at home and in their presence. We grew up overseas. We grew up in town. We grew up in a third-world country. I was blessed with being able to be in that space and also feel the safety. I’ve married those two together, and as an adult, I feel safe when I travel alone. Oftentimes, people will be like, “You’re going to Asia alone, to Africa, or Thailand.” It’s so fun for me.
I’ll meet some people there too and travel with friends. This particular time that you’re talking about, I went to Thailand and I wanted to go to this island, this place called the Sanctuary. On the way there, I hurt my foot pretty badly in this long-tail boat. I jumped onto the boat and it’s a long story, but we arrived by boat to the place, and I think that I could walk but I couldn’t walk. The guys help me and I’m sitting there and I’m like, “I guess this whole trip is going to be about me being more grounded, staying still, and not moving too much.” Towards the end of the trip, I just stayed there. I didn’t venture off anywhere. I stayed at the hotel.
I went to pay before I was leaving, and I had makeshift crutches to get on the plane and they go, “We need cash.” “I don’t have cash. I just have my card.” The guy at the counter was like, “I’m sorry. That’s all we have to do.” I was like, “I hurt my foot. Is there anything you can do?” He’s like, “No.” I was like, “I don’t have time to get into town on this broken foot and come back.” To make a long story short, there was this woman behind me and she said, “I heard your whole story. I’m going into town right now. I can take your card, get you cash, and come back.” I go, “Okay. Here you go.”
You gave a stranger your bank card, not just a credit card, full access to all of your money, at least in that account. You’re like, “Here, go take out whatever amount of money so I can pay my bill and come back.”
I just fully trust her at the moment. There are lots of times where I don’t trust people and I’ll be like, no. I fully did. It’s so funny because I told my mom that story and she’s like, “You did what?” I’m like, “I just truly, fully trusted her.” I was like, “Where am I going to find you later?” I don’t know if her phone didn’t work or what but she goes, “You’ll find me.” I go, “Okay.”
Some people might say that’s naive, but there are a lot of times when I’m like, “We’re not going there. It’s a hard no for me.” When I’m in that calm state and I’m in that most peaceful, relaxed state, my intuition is pretty high. I feel like most of ours are, our intuition is high when we’re relaxed. When we’re overwhelmed or we’re coming from fear, it’s not intuition, it’s coming from fear. We clear that fear, and then it becomes easier.
She came back with your bank card, with your money. She didn’t steal any money from your bank account.
She came back. She tapped me on the shoulder. I had no idea when she was going to come back, but she came back right on time and tapped me on the shoulder. She’s like, “Here you go. Here’s your stuff.”
I don’t know if I could have done that. That’s pretty amazing. I know that you talked to your clients about how to develop their intuition. How can you help someone develop their intuition? What are things to look for or feel through to develop it?
Just recognize if it’s coming from fear or if it’s coming from a place of security and safety, if you’re feeling already super safe. I’m wrong a lot too. I’m not saying I’m always right with my intuition, but when we get what people call a knowing, a download, or whatever you might want to call it, it comes from checking in with your body, knowing how your body feels. That’s your intuition. Just to reinforce it keep checking in with your body and keep doing that over time, it becomes like a muscle like you’re working out.
Did you know that you had a keen sense of intuition and these gifts? I do think that you have these gifts which are helping people now, helping your clients, people that you’re helping heal. Did you know that you had these early in life?
I don’t know if I knew that I had it early in life. It got reinforced by my community. It was always reflected in me. I believe that we all have it. I’m special like everyone else. We’re all special. We all have that ability. It’s just whether or not you nurture it, reinforce it, and love it. It grows and that’s what happened.
I’m going to give you a few topics. We’ve talked about a lot of these things. You’re so fascinating with all topics. If we took manifestation, for example. What is your philosophy on manifestation and how do we manifest?
It’s thrown a lot. For some reason, that word is just overplayed for me. There’s no other word that is great for it. Of course, we’re going to use it. For me, we’re all strong magnets. I’m not saying that if something bad happens to you or you’re an abusive thing, you are a strong magnet to that. That’s not what I’m saying.
When I say we’re a strong magnet, how can you see that in a light that is serving your highest good? Whatever circumstance or whatever is happening to you or for you, how can you see it differently? How can you see where it’s working for you, through you, or as you, which gets even deeper? I could go on about the unconscious and the conscious mind, but then that gets a little bit more scientific.
Let’s say that I am building a business and I’m doing all the things but I’m just not doing the work I need to do. I’m at home and I’m procrastinating doing the laundry, all this stuff. If we were working together, you would say, “How does that serve you?” That’s what you mean by that. How does the procrastination serve you?
We would go down deep and be like, “Where did this start? What’s the emotion that’s coming up from it?” I would probably also ask you, “What are you avoiding feeling? Are you scared of the dream or the goal coming to fruition?”What are you avoiding? Are you scared of the dream actually coming to fruition? Click To Tweet
What’s coming up for me is judgment. I would be afraid that if I completely shift and change whatever it is. You start putting it out there to the public that they’re going to judge. I’m just giving you an example.
Judgment from others, not from yourself. I’ve dealt with that in my own life. Fear of judgment of others. Even on this, how am I going to be interpreted? Is it going to land? Are people going to understand what I’m saying? When it comes to you fearing the judgment of someone else and the procrastination, is that what you’re saying?
The procrastination. How it’s serving me would be that it’s keeping me safe. I feel safe if I don’t do it.
Usually, what it comes down to is protecting ourselves. We all have the people pleaser and the procrastinator. Generally speaking, they’re all protective parts inside that are keeping us from “failing” or keeping us from pain. We’re doing the very thing we don’t want, but it’s perpetuating the pain and the judgment and whatever else is attached to it.
When you talk about the subconscious or the conscious mind, tell me about how you work with clients with that.
That can be fun when we’re doing the unconscious reprogramming. We just drop into a more of a theta state, more of like a very deep relaxed state. I just like to play and have fun, but I also love to bring movement and sound to it. Embody what it is and also let go. Discharge the energies in the system that are holding us back but also feel the resource state in your body to live from the new place.
That’s beautiful. We’ve been told this example before when you see animals in the wild. They just shake it off. They’re done. They don’t carry trauma. We are the only species that carry trauma. Some animals do though because you can see how they respond to past traumas in a way, but they do shake it off.
They freeze immediately. As soon as they’re okay to come out of it, they’ll come out of it and do like a gnarly shake. We don’t do that. It’s like someone flipped you off while you’re driving and you’re having a shake or something. We don’t do that. Later on the line, we’re like, “Why do I feel angry right now?” It was from the past. It wasn’t from the actual present day.
I’m going to ask you about gratefulness. How does being grateful and trying to be grateful as best you can on an everyday basis affect your life?
First of all, I would say trying is an interesting word. It’s not horrible. I use it all the time. I also catch myself when I use it. Try to stand up. You’re either going to stand up or you’re not. The grateful part is that it’s scientifically proven that it’s an energy that can help you create more. It can help you manifest more. It can help you be attracted to more. When we’re in that energy, that resource state, it’s more of a state of abundance. Have you ever seen where they have muddy water? You could go and do the best you can to pull out the mud, the rocks, or whatever. If you pour in a bunch of clear water, it’s going to eventually be clear. That’s how gratitude is. It’s cliché to be grateful, but it’s cliché because it works.It's cliche to be grateful, but it's cliche because it actually works. Click To Tweet
There’s science behind it and how it works.
A gratitude practice is amazing. If you could have a 5-minute gratitude practice in the morning or at night before you go to bed, it could change your life if you could do it for 40 days.
Have you ever done that?
When you work with a client, you say, “This is what I want you to do,” gratitude journal or whatever. What do you ask them to do and how do you know that’s a good step for someone?
At the beginning of any container, “What is your goal? What is the thing that you’re done with? What is the thing that’s blocking you? What is the thing that you’re desiring?” if they know. Let’s get clear on what that is for the first 3 or 6 months when I work with them. Once we determine that and realize what’s blocking them, every session is different. I never know what’s going to happen in session.
In one of my sessions, we were doing some unconscious reprogramming and they were looking at a screen on themselves and all these wild things were happening as a cartoon. They’re like, “What was going on?” I’m like, “It’s just your unconscious. It’s speaking to us in symbols.” You don’t have to use your conscious mind to reprogram some of these limiting beliefs in your system.
At the end of each session, I would love to have an action step for someone. It depends. I love it when they come up with their action step. We all have access to the same information. A lot of times, it just comes through, “I need to have a practice in the morning of being grateful.” They come up with it on their own. Sometimes I offer.
We all do have this sense of knowing. Let’s talk about that. I agree with you too. We are our therapists. We know how to heal ourselves. We just need to be guided, which is what you do. It’s all within. Can you share your philosophy on that, on the knowing inside, and how instead of looking outside for healing? We do look outside, but it’s also looking inside.
Here’s my philosophy on that. I have come to understand through my parts of trying to gain and get that more. The more I hold myself with the parts that get anxious, even the part that comes on the show, there’s a little anxious part. It’s like, “I see you. You’re anxious.” Have a little talk with yourself that’s loving and kind to be like, “I wish I wasn’t anxious. I need this to go away.”
Instead of gaining more knowledge, which is beneficial, and sure we need a skillset, that’s great. I also think what’s important is what we let go of and what we can embrace. Letting go happens when we embrace and accept. We find these parts of us and we start to become aware of what’s coming up through relationships, experiences, and what’s happening in our lives. Instead of pushing those parts away, it’s like, “I see you. I love you. I’ve got you.” You start to let go. It’s more of a letting go so you can see who you already truly are because It’s already inside then adding.
Even when I was at rock bottom, which I hit a while back, it seemed like it was forever. I’ve had people ask, how did you build your career back? How did you get back on TV? How did everything just come back? What did you do? My answer has been before, it’s what I stopped doing which is letting go.
That’s what happened at my rock bottom too. I don’t know if I would say it’s rock bottom. It’s that place where I was like, “I’m done with working this hard.” What did I do? I sat in my house and did nothing for three months.
Wasn’t it a blessing? We all did.
I didn’t try to do more stuff. I know that time was hard for so many people, and it was hard for our family too. For me, in the work world, it was detoxing. It’s letting go. It’s embracing. Can you see yourself now that you’ve slowed down? Can you see how hard you were working? It was like this infinite rabbit hole. It wasn’t necessarily serving you that well or it was serving you, but maybe not in the healthiest way.
What would you say is one of your greatest philosophies on life? How do you live your life every day?
I do think that it’s just relating to yourself in a way. If you’re coming up against something to just one question, which is, “How can I see this differently? How can I see that this is working for me?” If we get frustrated with a client, a situation, or a circumstance, or whatever, how is this serving me? Maybe it was a terrible experience, but what skill did I learn because of it?
For me, it’s just like helping people and myself see things differently and be like, “Maybe this time where you’re slow is helping your system and your body recuperate.” When we’re sick, oftentimes, people are like, “I have so much to do. Why am I sick?” It’s your body’s way of maybe helping you slow down. Can you see it in that light? It’s not always so direct. I don’t believe in life being 100% a mirror, but it is in a lot of ways where we can be like, “There’s maybe some way to look at this in a little bit different way that’s supporting us.”
Some of the most magical moments of my entire life happened when I didn’t have work and I was very paranoid which is a part of my rock bottom. This was a few years back. You’re sitting there and I have the most incredible memories with my daughter because I was finally at home. I finally wasn’t traveling. I was on the road every 2 weeks out of every month for 15 years. Gone to home. Like you, you, all of a sudden hit like, “Wow.” It’s the greatest gift. It was also hard because you’re not working, but look at how it serves you and it’s beautiful.
When we’re living life a certain way, it’s familiar. We go to break a habit sometimes, we’re detoxing, or we’re letting stuff go, all of a sudden, it’s new and you’re like, “This feels weird. Why is this weird? I think it’s good, but it’s weird. It’s also unfamiliar.” It’s the unfamiliarity of the change. What I do see something in my coaching containers is sometimes when you’re getting ready to shift a pattern, it comes on a lot stronger.Sometimes when you're getting ready to really shift a pattern, it comes on a lot stronger. Click To Tweet
Just right before the gold.
I don’t know if I believe in the testing, but for lack of a better word, it tests you. “Do you really want this? Are you sure?” You’re like, “Yeah.” All of a sudden, you’re on a new paradigm and you’re like, “I’m living on the water. I’m doing two climbs at once. I sleep in and I work out. What life am I in now?” It’s almost like when you do what people call “quantum leaps,” and you change your life so quickly, you forget. “How did I get here again?” People want more and change so fast. When they do, you won’t know you got there or how fast you did when you did it until you sit there and reflect, which is what you’re so good at too which is a celebration.
I had to learn it. For many years, I was mourning my past success in my career. I had an extremely successful career as a TV host. Life can get in the way a little bit. Now I look back at the most wonderful way because the whole thing has been one big blessing. I was mourning the past. Once I started to celebrate the past, I was like, “I did a lot.” I’m in my 50s now and I’m in that next chapter. I don’t want to be traveling like I was, I don’t want to live the life that I had back then. It was nuts. It’s a different energy.
It’s like choosing to live in a different energy and embody a new energy, which then will be a magnet to that energy.
Celebrating the past is so important.
It’s so good. That’s a pre-step to any of my work, which is like, “Let’s celebrate how far you’ve come.” I wonder if you’ve taken a moment to look at that. People haven’t. It’s such a great precept in any of the work that I do to celebrate at the end and middle too. I usually will take a whole session in the middle to be like, “Can I show you what I’ve seen in you and how you’ve changed?”
You mean in the middle of a 3, 6-month container so halfway through, you’re like, I want to show you what improvements.
Usually, it just comes out naturally. They’ll look at me like, “What are we going to do?” I’m like, “I want to sit here and mirror to you, I want to share with you everything that I’ve seen that you’ve become, that you have let go of.” I did this with my last client and she was in tears the whole time. She goes, “I needed to see that.” That’s the other power of being witnessed. Having this container with people, it’s not just I’m the coach and you’re my ally. We’re doing this together. It’s like, “She really sees me.” Having that powerful mirroring and clean mirroring of, “That is what I’ve done.” I hear people say, “You don’t see the picture when you’re in the frame.” It’s so true.
You don’t see it until you take a step back. Also sometimes, there can be a lot of pain associated with the past, especially if you had an amazing past. You’re attached to it. People that used to be in your life that aren’t there anymore or whatever the situation is. Celebrating you, it’s so healing, celebrating yourself, and being kind and good to yourself is the beginning of the foundation of healing. You can’t move on to the future if you’re still stuck in the past. It can haunt you.
It’s projecting it all into the future. All of those energies that haven’t been discharged or emotions I haven’t felt are going to be pushed onto an experience in the future or a person.
There is a shift that happens. It’s hard if someone’s stuck in the past to have them fix their mindset. It does take time. It takes healing and you have to want to do it.
Willingness is so important.
You can change anything in your life as long as you’re willing.You can change anything in your life really as long as you're willing. Click To Tweet
Willing to see it differently.
I love that. If we want to connect with you, learn more about The Wild Conduit, which is her website. It’s so awesome. I love your Instagram page. Where can we learn more about you?
I love it. We can sign up with you?
I do free clarity calls, so if you want just to see if we’re a match, I can help see what maybe some of your blocks are, your goals are, and see if they align. I would love to support people. It’s like the juiciest thing for me and it makes me feel so good and happy to see people shift and change.
I know for a fact that your heart is in it. It’s in the right place. I’ve seen her in action. It’s pretty incredible what you do. Thank you so much for coming to the show.
Thank you. I appreciate you.
Make sure that you check out Life Masters. It’s on every platform out there. Subscribe and please give me some comments. Love to hear what you have to say about it. Abundance, gratefulness, get out there, and heal yourself with people like Courtney.
Love it. Thanks for having me.
Thank you for coming.
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